Friday, September 29, 2006

Shooting the shit with Sly

Some of you might not know this, but IJ is an avid hunter. He can't get enough of it. Coming from a Bama fan IJ understands that this might shock you. As luck would have it IJ was invited on a quail hunting excursion with the one and only Sly Croom, head coach of the Mississippi State Bulldogs, and some MSU boosters. IJ thought that this would be a great opportunity to pick Sly's brain about the his job and the state of the MSU program. IJ: Nice camou Sly, is that RealTree? SC: Uhm, yes it is. Are you a booster? What's up with the turbin? IJ: No, not technically. And the turbin is my native headwear. I painted it orange for the occasion. So Sly what's it like being a head coach in the SEC? SC: SEC? What are you talking about, this team wouldn't compete in the Sun Belt. I tried to get a head coaching job in the SEC when I interviewed at Bama, but those peckerheads gave it to that pretty boy Shula. IJ: Still pissed at Shula for changing the name of the Croom award to the Freddie Kitchens trophy. I understand, but let's put that behind us for a second, what's the deal with Orgeron and Ole Miss? SC: (Laughing hysterically) That Ogre is one loony mofo. I think God everyday that Ole Miss hired that bat-shit crazy Orgeron. He said he's built a fence around the city of Memphis, well, I've got a plan of my own.

IJ: Nice shot. Much has been made of the lack of offensive production. And you being an offensive coach, does this make you cry at night?

SC: Thanks, Coach Bryant taught me how to shoot. For those people that are criticizing me, let them bring their happy asses onto the sideline and try to coach these semi-retarded players how to play football. It ain't easy my friend.

Croom's horse is visibly shaken by MSU's lack of offense.

IJ: I've got to be blunt Sly, your offense has been putrid so far.

SC: You ain't telling me nothing I don't know son. Hey, we suck, but as long as Coach O is at Ole Miss, my job is safe. Didn't I mention how bat-shit crazy he is?

The end zone's this way, Coach.

At about that time the MSU boosters told Sly that they brought along another special guest and wanted him and Sly to pair up.

MSU booster: Coach Croom, We want you to meet Vice President Dick Cheney. Why don't you two go off hunting awhile and we'll catch up later.

At this point I thought it was better to take my leave and head back.

1 comment:

LWS said...

Buffets in Alabama sleep better now that Freddie Kitchens is no longer around