Fatt Matt Stafford and the Scooter Quandry

The fact that the Dawgs are fond of scooters is well documented. The David's liked to ride together on one scooter , scooting about campus, frolicking in the warm Athens air, mouths agape, lips trembling with anticipation.....much like discgraced Rep. Foley (FL) eyeballing a mouthwatering underaged Congressional Page-boy. The quandry is that Freshman quarterback Matt Stafford is fat. Matt is so fat that he cannot find a scooter to support him. This makes Fat Matt sad. I was walking through Athens just yesetrday on my way to interview Fatt Matt for this prestigious blog. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Matt sitting by a park bench and I overheard Fat Matt singing a nursery rhyme, apparently made up by the fat, blubbering youngster himself. "I am Matt That makes me Fatt Because we all know Matt is Fatt" I offered the chubbling a tissue, and he accepted. That's SEC brotherhood right there.