Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Former Iraqi Information Minister Takes Over at UGA Radio Network

Hello, I am Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf, former Minister of Information for the former Iraqi regime of Sadaam Hussein. I am here with former UGA coach Jim Donnan to bring you the exciting action of SEC Football. Get ready for a heavyweight fight. Tonight, the Dawgs will take the hobnail shoe to the infidel Vols. Back in 10 seconds. We are back at Sanford Stadium. The Redcoat Marching Band is finishing up their routine and The Dawgs come charging onto the field at the speed of eleventy billion locusts. The infidels are nowhere to be found, their fans have stayed away from Ba...Athens as well. HAHA, good idea pigs! How will we play this game if the infidels refuse to enter our Glorious Arena? How can we have a contest with cowards? Austin Rogers returns the kickoff to the 24 yard line, he is hit by the force of 1,000 tanks and his head explodes. The Dawgs are awarded two touchdowns! Jim: Actually Muhammed, the Vols returned the kickoff to the 24 where it will be First and 10, Tennessee. Muhammed: Jim you fool! They are retreating on all fronts. Their football effort is a subject of laughter throughout the world. Hardesty with a nice run up the middle. Close to a first down. Their forces committed suicide by the hundreds.... The battle is very fierce and God made us victorious. The fighting continues? Ainge hits Meachem deep down the middle............Touchdown Tennesse. Ainge really had good protection that time from his offensive line, right Jim? Jim: That's right Muhammed, and I am surprised. Florida beat Tennessee's O-line up pretty good! Muhammed: God will roast their stomachs in the hands of Hell! Tough running today for the Dawgs. I am surprised by the play of Tennessee's defensive line Jim. Jim: We can't get anything going on the ground and we have to be able to run to beat the Vols Muhammed. Muhammed: Indeed! I can say, and I am responsible for what I am saying, that they have started to commit suicide under the walls of Baghdad. We will encourage them to commit more suicides quickly! That's three and out for the Dawgs Jim. Looks like Coach Richt is going to need to use some creativity to score on the Vols today. Jim: We can't give up on the running game Muhammed. We have to be patient and keep our defense off the field. Muhammed: Jim, I triple guarantee you, there are no American soldiers in Baghdad. Jim: huh? Muhammed: I'm just pulling your chain Jim. Ainge takes the snap from center, throws downfield........incomplete. They are nowhere near the airport ..they are lost in the desert...they can not read a compass...they are retarded. Jim: I thought they had resolved the problems resulting from the tutor scandal? Muhammed: Jim, chill out. That's the end of the 3rd quarter. The Dawgs are going to have to make up some ground if they are going to emerge victorious in this one Jim. Golden Flake potato chips make every tailgate a winner. Stop by your local Piggly-Wiggly today and pick up Golden Flake snack foods. Muhammed: We managed to chop off their rotten heads! Jim: What the hell are you talking about. We just lost the game! Muhammed: I can assure you that those villains will recognize, will discover in appropriate time in the future how stupid they are and how they are pretending things which have never taken place. That's the end of the game folks. Georgia defeats Tennessee 540-0. When we come back....the Bulldawg Locker Room Show.

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