Joe: Michael thanks for sitting down with us. Michael: My pleasure. Joe: You occasionally play center. Erik Ainge, your quarterback last year, has an ACT Score of 32. Doe he ever refer to QB-center exchanges with you as "tickling the ivories"? Michael: No. Joe: Last year, many Vols fans demanded that Randy Sanders be fired. In retrospect, wouldn't it have been easier to simply shoot him, in cold blood? Michael: No. That's terrible.
Joe: I know it is. But what if, like, if you had gotten one of those plastic guns, like the kind John Malkovich had in "In The Line Of Fire"? You ever see that movie?
Joe: It's fucking badass. You should rent it. Anyway, you get your hands on 107,000 of those puppies, which should be easy to do in
Joe: Sanders grew up in
Joe: Fair enough. The FSU Seminoles are owned by the Bowden family. If the Noles were an entree, would they be a Taco?
Joe: You played High School football in
AggiesGators chest, do you tell her that you're "exorcising the demons"?
Michael: You are insane.
Joe: Quarterbacks often get their o-lineman gifts at the end of the season, as a reward for protecting them. What did your QB's get you last year, when you failed miserably at doing so? Some Post-Its? A box of Triscuits, perhaps? Michael: We got Jenny Craig subscriptions.
Joe: Let's go back to Coach Cut. Doesn't Cut strike you as the kind of guy who would consistently fuck up a Chinese Fire Drill? You send him out to pick up Taco Bell, and he comes back with a caulk gun? Michael: No. Joe: Would you consider kissing me? Michael: No. Joe: Come on. I've been on Valtrex for three weeks now. If that's the reason for your hesitation, I can assure you the outbreak is totally under control. Michael: No.