As part of our 2006 preview, I'll be sitting down and chatting with Board Moderator of the The Generals Quarters, Volquest of the Rivals Network, Today, it's Alpha sheep Boy Senegal. I have used the Ron Mexico name generator to protect Boy Senegal’s true identity.
Joe: BS, thanks for taking the time to sit down with us. You don’t mind if I call you BS?
Boy Senegal: No problem.
Joe: I loved your efforts in Eyes Wide Shut and Red Dust. "You are shallow!" I love that. Oh, and you were great in Fear X, too. Ironic, Fear X, hmmm. How did you earn the trust of an acclaimed actor like Tom Cruise?
Boy Senegal: That's Lloyd Braun. People don’t cross me and get away with it.
Joe: No need to be modest. The Vols jettisoned starting DT Tony McDaniel in the offseason. Tell me, why keep Jim Bob Cooter? Isn't he really just dead weight?
Boy Senegal: Huh? Cooter? I will call my sources. I told them to get rid of him.
Joe: Phil Fulmer has often been criticized for his coaching in the fourth quarter. But shouldn't he get more credit for being a shitty coach the first three quarters of a game?
Boy Senegal: No.
Joe: Trooper Taylor helped bring chest bumps and wearing ballcaps backwards back to the Vols. Do you think Trooper is bothered at all by Stanley Asunmu’s surplus of height?
Boy Senegal: No.
Joe: Is Ainge a bad drop kicker? Because QB's that can't drop kick are useless fuckers.
Boy Senegal: I don't know.
Joe: Are you sort of glad that Rick Clausen isn't around anymore, so you don't have to spend team meetings staring at Clausen’s hairline while pretending that you aren't?
Boy Senegal: No. I don’t attend those meetings
Joe: As a Mexican, do you find it ironic that your job is essentially border control?
Boy Senegal: I'm not Mexican.
Joe: I see this is a touchy issue for you. Let's move on. Jon Crompton: do you really need him?
Boy Senegal: Yes.
Joe: You did steroids to help heal an "elbow" injury faster. How much can your "elbow" squat now? 700? 800?
Boy Senegal: It really was an elbow injury.
Joe: I'll bet. How much of an improvement is David Cutcliffe over Randy Sanders? Is it sort like moving from a hovel to a shantytown?
Boy Senegal: David is a good coordinator.
Joe: Everyone agrees the old thick stripes on the helmets are Badass. But the Vols refuse to go back to them. What the fuck is wrong with you people?
Boy Senegal: I don't know. I am just a Board Mod.
Joe: I saw Coach Fulmer on TV when he was apologizing for last season. What's it like to play for a cadaver?
Boy Senegal: Coach is not dead.
Joe: Bret Smith: any relation to Ramar Smith?
Boy Senegal: No.
Joe: Because Bret provided tremendous camera work in “Pros vs Joes”. He'll be missed.
Boy Senegal: No.
Joe: Will you kiss me?
Boy Senegal: No.
Joe: Would you consider touching my meat? It won't bite.
Boy Senegal: No.
Joe: We could share a Meat Lover's Pizza.
Boy Senegal: No.
Joe: BS, thanks for taking time off from doing dead lifts with your "elbow" to come talk to us.
Boy Senegal: My pleasure.
1 comment:
English really is a second language
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