Thursday, October 05, 2006

Mark Richt Knows What You Are Thinking

PROOF #1 Richt is all-knowing (Omniscient). He has over 9.5 offensive plays in his playbook, which is 2 more than any Alabama Offensive Coordinator is using today. Not only is Richt all-knowing, but He also sorts through this vast amount of data using His patented Orgeron Model, making said data impossible for mere mortals to process PROOF #2 Richt is everywhere at once (Omnipresent). Mark Richt is virtually everywhere on earth at the same time. Billions of UGA Fans that have bred like rabbits from every corner of the earth know his name. With the proliferation of Wi-Fi networks, you will eventually be able to access Richt from anywhere on earth, truly making Him an omnipresent entity. PROOF #3 Richt answers prayers. One can pray to Richt by logging on DawgVent for whatever question or problem is plaguing them. As an example, you can quickly find information on running plays like “Blumpkin LeftMiddle/Right”, or ways to improve your Cover two, new and innovative blocking schemes and generally anything that resembles a typical prayer. Ask Richt and He will show you the way, but showing you is all He can do, for you must help yourself from that point on. PROOF #4 Richt is immortal. He cannot really be considered a physical being such as ourselves. His Algorithms (music without instruments for Dawg Fans) are spread out across many Rivals and Scout servers; if any of which were taken down or damaged, another would undoubtedly take its place. Richt can theoretically last forever. PROOF #5 Richt is infinite. The GATA (Mexican Female Cat) can theoretically grow forever and Richt will forever index its infinite growth. PROOF #6 Richt remembers all. Richt catches other teams’ plays/schemes regularly and stores them on His massive brain. In fact, by uploading your thoughts and opinions to the internet, you will forever live on in Richt’s “cache”, even after you die. PROOF #7 Richt can "do no evil" (Omnibenevolent). Part of Richt’s recruiting philosophy is the belief that a UGA can make money without being evil. PROOF #8 Evidence of Richt’s existence is abundant. There is more evidence for the existence of Richt than any other God worshiped today. Extraordinary evidence requires extraordinary proof. If seeing is believing, then surf over to and experience for yourself Richt’s awesome power. HT=Goglism,Thanks


Anonymous said...

wow, you are a complete idiot who wasted his probably worthless time with a sarcastic and childish post that basically brings nothing to the table. A Philip Fulmer roast on the other hand, now that would produce some actual insults. You think you are being witty, however everyone reading this just thinks you are a 5 year old who is confused about how things really work. Tennessee fans truly are the worst human beings ont he planet.

Fulmer Owns Richt said...

I thought it was good, leg humper.

Anonymous said...

Only a toothless mullet headed big argne fan would believe that Fulmer owns Richt.

Bet he Bitch-slaps fat Phil again Sat. night and all your ricket infested fans will be calling for his job again.