Big East and ESPN Join Together to Promote Nancy-Boy Football

NEW YORK – In a joint announcement made today at the ESPN Zone in Manhattan, the BIG EAST Conference and ESPN have agreed to two six-year contracts that will significantly enhance the league’s exposure in football, and men’s and women’s basketball.

"We have been together with ESPN from the start and we have both grown together," said BIG EAST Commissioner Michael Tranghese. "We're very excited to extend our relationship. Television exposure is critical to the success of our teams. Our new agreement provides an incredible opportunity to take BIG EAST programs to even greater heights."

Tranghese later said,” when all of the good schools went to the ACC, we were really sucking ass. We signed up some pretenders (Louisville) and just hoped for the best. Then ESPN comes along and just throws this shit at us. All I can say is WOW. I feel like I just won the Lotto…”

"As a mainstay on ESPN for nearly three decades, the BIG EAST has delivered many memorable moments," said George Bodenheimer, President, ESPN, Inc. and ABC Sports. "We are thrilled to expand that long-standing relationship through this unprecedented collaborative effort, which will supply conference action to fans however they experience sports.” Bodenheimer elaborated further, “It fucking sucks that we over-hyped non-BCS schools like Utah and TCU. Now I have what can best be described as strong mid-major conference polluting up the BCS. The Big East is so shitty that the only decent football schools bailed out and went to the ACC. Now I have to find new and innovative ways to convince the American Public that the Conference is BCS quality. I mean look at the schools, Louisville? West Virginia? The in conference schedule is as weak as the out of conference schedule. WTF have I signed up to?”